Thursday, April 29, 2010

The Advocate

For thirty-four years Jacob had worked hard to become more like his father, the judge of the land. He studied, practiced, listened, obeyed, helped others and always sought justice: punishment for the guilty and relief for the innocent (though truth be told, he never did like to see even the guilty man put away for life).

Often when he studied, his dear friend and own brother, James, came to mind. He was sure being twins offered extraordinary connections of mind, thought process and desire, because sometimes he knew the choices his brother would make even before James made them. It was easier to be compassionate that way, but it hurt, too. We only get one life, Jacob would think to himself. Come on, James, choose to do something right…you know what’s right.

Sitting in the empty courtroom at the present moment, waiting for the offender and the judge to enter, Jacob mulled over the years he’d been a practicing legal advocate. One impulsive choice, that’s where it started for everyone, and ended in the courtroom. He thought, though, about his brother. He had made many little choices, poor choices, and the combination culminated in yet another major mistake. It was easier to see this process, being close to his brother; it was most likely that way for every other person he’d defended: little threads of poor choices wrapping into strong, inescapable chords of regret.

His eyes drifted from the top of the room, swaying side to side, taking in the familiar shapes and colors of the courtroom until his gaze alighted absently on his briefcase in front of him. His lungs stretched involuntarily and a sigh pressed from his tired mouth. A new worry weighed on his heart and a new, privatized case was about to begin.

Inside the holding cell below the courtroom, a hardened, unhappy version of his very likeness, his brother, awaited his private trial.

Inside the briefcase, a thick stack of paperwork representing months of research and tests diluted into one, uncaring word: cancer.

Both faced life sentences. So young to have life coming to its end.

Jacob winced. He felt weakness and pain, but he wasn’t sure if it was from his own ailment or because he could feel the suffering of his brother, the additional suffering he would face now that the consequences had finally caught up to him. The charges his brother was guilty of caused a chill to strum along Jacob’s weakened spine.

It’s time. Jacob fixed his tie with trembling hands and stood from his chair, leaning his legs into the solid oak table before him. The judge entered. His usual mantel of authority and confidence wore thick with wrinkles of concern.

“Hello, Father.” Jacob greeted the judge, his lifetime hero.

The doors at the side opened and a chained man in an orange jumpsuit was escorted to the table next to Jacob. The brother’s shoulders seemed able to touch the ground, his heart was so heavy with grief. His face was stone etched by years of unhappy masters of sin. His life, like his body, appeared utterly wasted by the empty look in his moist eyes.

Gone were the jovial days of pranks and laughter. One brother’s life over by choice, the other by defeat of disease. Both sat down before the judge, the unconventional trial began.

A just father looked down at the desk towering between him and his sons, unable to persuade his tears from flowing. He called to his son in handcuffs; the child arose.

“My son,” he paused, swallowed. “You are guilty of a crime that takes the rest of your life in its cold, unmerciful hands.”

James’ shoulders rounded even more. The chains on his wrists and ankles shook as his skeleton rattled against the suppressed sobs in his chest.

“I don’t want you to go into prison, to have your life so severely halted.” The judge spoke more tenderly than Jacob had ever heard. “I wish my love for you could make it all go away.”

James couldn’t find the strength or courage to raise his eyes to his father. Jacob could only stare at the briefcase. The judge closed his eyes, as if reviewing the annals of justice and regaining his position.

“Where law is concerned, justice is my perfect love: equity for all. I must follow through, you must suffer the consequences of your choices, or the entire system is void. There is nothing you can offer to make your life an adequate payment for the debt you have incurred. Your sentence is to spend the rest of your life in prison, as it is the environment your choices have afforded you.”

James swallowed and dared to plead with his father, the judge. “I recognize my sins, Father, your Honor, but does it make no difference that I confessed, that I came willingly and turned myself in? Might the sentence be minimized at all?”

There was a somber cushion of silence around the stuttering gasps of James desperate breathing.

The son with dying in his blood arose then, with help of his hands pressed to the wooden table. He opened his briefcase and pulled out the stack of papers. Unaware of Jacob’s terminal condition, the father looked to his perfect son and somehow felt double the loss, the sadness brimming in his eyes.

“Father, there is a plan.” No need to look at the papers before him, he spoke boldly, with love. “I love my brother.” James all but melted to the floor in shame at his brother’s tone, voice, words. “I love you, Father, and I do not wish to see you suffer as you are to lose your child. I—“ He paused for courage. He loves his brother. Instead he looked to his brother and announced to both, “I am dying.”

The judge jerked straight in his seat and leaned forward. James raised his head to look at his brother.

“I do not have much time. The cancer has spread hatefully through my body and I will not last even three months more.” Looking into his brother’s eyes he continued, “Father must enforce the law, there certainly is no way around it.” His gaze bended reluctantly toward the judge. “Father, send me to prison in his place. I will suffer the consequences he would endure if he will accept to live for me, to take my place as a servant to you and to the public.”

His eyes returned to his brother who had collapsed with awe into his own chair. “Brother, my friend, I have studied long and hard to become like Father, and he is just. He is wise and loving. He does not love to punish, but he serves consequences as they are chosen by the guilty. I will take your place and lose my life if you will learn what you must, every day, to help Father in his work. Ours is a work of helping others. The more love we can show, the more lives are simply improved. I have written you a letter that will help you follow me, learn my ways and help you to succeed. If you follow my instructions—and I know Father will help you if you ask—my death, my sacrifice, will not be in vain.”

His father’s look surprised Jacob, even when he had been sure his father would accept the plan. His rounded cheeks sparkled with tears and his tender smile encouraged him. The son asked with assurance.

“Will you pardon his crime? Here I am and there he stands, we are alike in every way. My life is forfeit and my greatest service for James and for you, Father, will be to make my death worth the life of another. Send me,” and Jacob turned to his brother again, “because I love you.”

He took his seat, suddenly drained from all support, used up more than he had ever felt.

“Son, you have done nothing wrong. I cannot make you do this, and we cannot know if your brother will accept the terms and change his life.”

James rose, shaking, from his chair.

“Father, I have wasted every good thing you have ever given me. I am not worthy to be called your son. I deserve to go to jail.” He paused.

“Brother, I will follow your plan. If you believe that I can, I will take this second chance.”

In his chair the dying son turned to face his hopeful, unhappy brother. James fell to his knees, his heart breaking into overwhelmed pieces of gratitude, tears watering his brother’s feet. He kissed his brother’s thin hands.

“Father,” Jacob answered, “I choose to do this, to give his life a greater purpose. He can do nothing in chains and in prison. Now he can choose to do some good, to build a better relationship with you, in my place. Whether or not he takes advantage of the chance, at least the opportunity will be there.”

Words of endless love and gratitude choked in James’ throat. He pressed Jacob’s hands to his shamed face. “I love you,” James managed through a sob. "I'm so sorry."

The judge looked on with aching love in his own heart. “Through my son, mercy is perfect,” he thought aloud. “Jacob, release your brother. Take from him his guilty robes and loosen the bands of his captivity.”

His savior brother unlocked the chains about his wrists and ankles. In a brief moment, the brothers traded clothing, names, lives.

“James, your new life will not be easy, but it will bring you joy if you so choose. Your brother’s life meets the demands of justice and son,” the son with sore wrists stood forward, “your debt is paid.”

James tightened his tie with trembling hands and took his brother’s letter in his hands. He nodded at his father. He turned to his brother.

Jacob, draped in orange and bound in chain, looked at his liberated brother; he was looking at the new ‘him’.

“I love you, too,” he smiled weakly.

“I will always remember you,” James humbly bowed his head.

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