New Life

"Do you even remember what it was like to be alive?" he spoke into the darkness. He knew she wasn't sleeping. They pretended now.

"Well...kind of." She rolled onto her back to stare at the same nothing he saw. "It was like warm, and stretchy."

"Stretchy?" He chuckled. She swatted at his chest.

"Yeah, I don't know how to describe it. But we were aging, we were going to grow old together..." she stopped before regret sounded. "There was past and there was future; the dreams and memories breathed to stretch the present. But now it's just..."

"Dead," he said.

"Dead," she whispered. "Why on earth would anyone leave a living, growing child on our front door? Us? Did they not notice the lifeless neighborhood, the limping houses as they walked up the broken sidewalk?"

"Well, we did have the only lights on that night, enjoying a nice glass of tasteless wine..."

"I could almost taste it!"

He smiled at her outstretched hands. Though they no longer held any warmth, at least they were still there for him to hold. He reached out and took her left in his right.

"So we must have looked like a loving couple. Anyone could mistake us as living if they saw us drinking wine in a lit dining room."

"Yes, an understandable mistake. But it so makes me wonder," she paused. "What sort of person even comes into this neighborhood, and with a child no less. I mean, I haven't seen more than a mangy cat chasing a skeletal mouse in...what year is it now?"

"2010, dear."

"My goodness. Have we really been dead 60 years already? Time flies when...you're not living in it anymore, doesn't it."

"It certainly does. And I don't know what would have inspired anyone to come this way for any reason. There must be some reason."

"I've been thinking about it every moment since she got here. It scares me to death...okay well, it terrifies me to think I'm responsible for the life of another person, so small, so unaware of this ghastly world! How can she be anything but ruined by everything around her?"

"I'm scared, too, dear. But how I almost feel my heart beat again when she smiles at us. Don't you just love that?"

"Oh, I do. I wouldn't trade her for anything. I'd die again for her...like you did for me. Do you think we rushed that decision? Do you think maybe I would have gotten better? Neither of us would have...well, we could have grown old and died together. Maybe...maybe we would be dying now, you and I, in our eighties. Think of that!"

"And now we're just starting the life we never had...There's really no use thinking about 'what ifs', Lucille. We decided and we're stuck with the consequence. I just couldn't have lost you. I would have died anyway, so instead we died together..."

"Sort of." She smiled. He knew she smiled because she always did when she said that. Just enough to where her lips etched a moon-shaped dimple into her cheek that caused a reflective sparkle in her eye. He lived for that smile. Or died for it. Yes, he died for that very smile.

"It's hard work pretending," she continued. "Like eating, breathing, sleeping. Gosh, sleeping is perhaps the most dreadful of all. I mean, not that I don't mind being here with you, but there are just so many other things we could be doing right now."

"But we can't wake her."

"Yes, I know. Not that reading, for example, is loud, you know."

"I know, but we'll get careless if we don't have some sort schedule and stick to it. Children need schedules. It's going to be a big change for us. Everything has changed and will just...keep changing. That's what life is, change."

"Except we're not changing anymore, Will. We don't 'stretch' anymore. Our hearts stopped and our blood stopped and we don't age. How long is she going to fall for that, do you think?"

"Oh...I didn't notice my parents getting older until I was out of the house, I think. Parents hold some sort of ageless charm while the kids grow up, too busy with their own growing to notice those already-grown, adult figures making any changes. I'd say we've got a good sixteen years before she suspects anything. If we stick to pretending." He poked her ribs.

"Ayy!" she squirmed and wrapped a fist around his culprit finger. "But what about warmth? We can't pretend to be warm, living creatures, just by thinking it."

He pulled her close to him, trying not to think of how desperately he wished he could feel that warmth again, reminding himself he was glad just to be with her.

"I've actually been thinking about that. What if we pumped something else warm through these veins of ours...? It couldn't kill us, and they aren't busy doing anything else."

"Are you crazy? What would you suggest, chocolate syrup, butter?"

"You would think of foods first, wouldn't you. My own Betty Crocker. Your cooking was always the very best. You would have your own Betty picture on a famous cook book if...yes, your cooking was the best."

"Aw, sweetie. Don't change the subject. Would that even be possible? Obviously our hearts wouldn't keep pumping whatever liquid we put in our veins. I can't believe I'm even talking about this."

"I was thinking either a gel or an oil. I'll look into it and let you know. For now we can just keep using handwarmers and keep the temperature up, take hot showers, etc. We'll learn how to take care of ourselves as she gets older. We just need to focus on her."

"I agree. I just always thought it was that 'mother's touch' that baby's needed most. And I'm worried that even if I hold her close, she won't be able to tell I love her because I have no heart."

"She will tell by the way she is held, by the way you talk to her, by how you tend to her needs. She doesn't know that she's hungry, but you do, so you feed her. She will trust and love you. Keep your arms and chest warm for now and I don't think she'll realize. This is all rather strange, isn't it?"

"Parenthood. We're parents. Finally, after..."

"After all these years," he spread a hand on her lower abdomen. When he had heard that his son hadn't made it and that she wasn't expected to make it either, he had done the same thing. He laid in their bed next to her, held his wife and spread his hand over her tired womb...He cleared his throat to scatter his thoughts.

"You are going to be an amazing mother," he said. "You can do all those things again, cooking and preparing lavish meals, sewing and mending clothes, living again, for the child."

"Living vicariously through a little girl? It sounds so creepy, really. But I guess one nice thing is I'll never get tired. At least not physically...can you imagine having to raise children as a mortal? I think it would kill me."

"Don't joke about it right now, Lil. It's kind of making me sad."

"Oh, sweetheart. I'm sorry. I should actually work on that starting now, you know, to get in the habit of thinking like I'm alive."

"That's a good idea. But, not too much. Because you won't bleed anymore if the knife slips and nicks your finger. You'll have to be careful to remember who you are."

"Yes, I will. But I will also do my best to pretend that I am as capable a mother as any living woman."

"And you will do beautifully, I'm sure of it. The world is scary, but there is so much love, too. Think of all the marvelous things this one child could do to change the world? She has changed our world so much already."

"We'll have to move, won't we?"

"She'll need to have friends, we'll have to make friends."

Silence met his ears. He turned his head toward her. Out of habit impossible to kill he saw her chest rise and fall with a characteristic sigh.

"You will do beautifully."

"We will," she said, squeezing his hand. "Thank you for sticking with me."

"Till dusk and till dawn."

A baby's cry echoed down the hall. Lucille leapt out of bed faster than a grasshopper from underfoot.

"I'll go!" And she was wrapped in wails down the hallway.

William crossed his arms behind his head. A father. At last.

Humpty Dumpty Reprise

Humpty Dumpty sat on a wall
Humpty Dumpty had a great fall
All the King’s horses and all the King’s men
Couldn’t put Humpty together again.

This is where the nursery rhyme ends:
Crushed to bits, no hope of amends.
So many questions remain unresolved
But here is the truth of how it evolved.

Yes, the king had horses and men,
But of course had more than just them.
He had a wife and eight kids, mostly sons;
In fact seven sons, but daughters just one.

All grown up, these seven King’s sons
Each inherited royal funds
And left the castle in hopes to pursue
Something to learn and for something to do.

And left at home all by herself,
Most often found near the bookshelf,
Was a bright young girl with Humpty for name
But “King’s only daughter” was her wide fame.

It was mom who’d named her Humpty
And the teasers added Dumpty.
Anyone kind, she was sure it was ‘cause
They knew whose talentless daughter she was.

Dad was encouraging and kind;
His smile showed he didn’t mind
That with each contest or game he unveiled
His sweet little Humpty’s true efforts failed.

But she put on her bravest face.
Still, embarrassed by each disgrace,
She felt soon it’d be all she could take:
One quiet sigh more and her heart would break.

Then that fateful day came along
Where everything was going wrong.
The King had a new game she’d have to play
But she just wasn’t in the mood today.

She went, of course, to please her King
And discovered the newest thing
Was a sport with a ball, a bat, a horse,
Two teams, and four plates on a diamond course.

Luck was on Humpty’s side at last
For she rode a horse well and fast
The rest of the game she would just survive
If she didn’t win, at least she would strive.

“Here’s the special, royal baseball,”
Said the King, with his handsome drawl.
“Whoever hits the ball and wins the game,
Gets the ball as prize and receives the fame.”

Up to bat, suited head to toe
Humpty sat on her horse Go-go,
The fastest and strongest horse in the land.
The pitcher wound up a ball in his hand,

She held the bat tight in her fists
At a slight angle from her wrists
And when the ball flew from the pitcher’s mound
Her bat swung through the air without a sound.

Strike one! Her face flushed hotly red
Miss again, she’ll wish to be dead.
The King hollered and cheered his daughter on
Somehow the sound helped her fears to be gone

Bringing the bat to the ready
Her gaze was focused and steady.
Eye on the ball she saw the pitcher wink.
Startled, now she didn’t know what to think.

The ball left the mound in a blaze
Humpty’s elbows swiveled sideways
A sharp cracking noise filled the royal grounds,
Everyone watched the ball sail out of bounds.

“So close!” yelled the King from the stands.
Humpty wiped the sweat from her hands.
She could quit now and not fail at this, too,
But if not now, when? And if not her, who?

She nodded to the pitcher’s mound
Determined to succeed this round.
The ball was pitched, she swung with all her might;
It sailed over the wall and out of sight!

The crowd cheered but Humpty’s face paled.
A lost ball meant loser, meant failed!
She gave Go-go a kick and off they went
Straight for the ball, speed one-hundred-percent.

All the king’s men on their horses
Motioned the right way the course was
But Humpty focused her eye on the wall
She absolutely had to find that ball.

At the wall they came to a stop
Humpty stood up and climbed on top
She looked over her shoulder at the crowd
Deeply hoping to make her Father proud.

Humpty clung tightly to the ledge
And peered slowly over the edge.
She quietly gasped and held back the tears
She had to go on, no matter her fears.

Bringing her limbs into a crouch
All at once she let out an “Ouch!”
Clutching her hand from the rocks beside her
Humpty looked down to see a huge spider!

Humpty began to feel quite faint
But refused to make a complaint
Instead she started to scoot far away
From where that spider determined to stay

But as she inched away from it
She quite forgot where she did sit
Losing her grip, Humpty had a great fall
And was lost from sight right over the wall

Opening her eyes to the sun
First she thought, “This game isn’t fun.”
Then the dreaded shame began to sink in
Tears formed in her eyes and slid to her chin

They dripped and then began to pour
Springing up from a shattered core
And Humpty was sure they would never end
No, not this time; her poor heart would not mend.

From somewhere above or below
She heard a noise begin to grow
A rumbling like a mighty thunderstorm
Great pounding hoofs in cadence uniform.

Here came the King’s horses again
Riding each one were the King’s men
And they would try to comfort and console
Because it was their job to make her whole.

But Humpty’s heart was broken now
And she really didn’t see how
Any kind horses or well-meaning men
Could try putting her together again

But that’s how it went, you recall:
She sat on then fell from the wall
And all the King’s horses, all the King’s men
Couldn’t put Humpty together again.

As her tears soaked into the ground
There came another rumbling sound
The men looked back and the horses made way
For the King was coming to save the day!

He scooped Humpty in an embrace
Wiping the tears from her round face
Just holding her tight, not saying a word
And only her quiet sobs could be heard.

At last when her breathing slowed down
She peered at the man with the crown
And gathered the courage to say something
So she could explain herself to the King.

But he spoke first and said, “Sweetheart,
In everything we play a part
But no one is supposed to win it all.
Sometimes we rise, a lot of times we fall

But do you know what I love most
About my girl, who never boasts?
Every time you make a mistake or fall
You get up and give the next shot your all.

And maybe you’re not the strongest
Or can’t hold your breath the longest
But you are exactly one of a kind
And your heart of gold is the greatest find.”

To hear her father tell her this
Turned discouragement into bliss
What a relief to know that just so long
As she always tried her best to be strong

Humpty would make her father proud.
Her happiness smiled out loud.
He got to his feet and held out his hand
“Okay, let’s go,” said the King of the land.

Humpty stood tall next to her dad.
Humpty’s heart was lifted and glad.
No, the King’s horses and all the King’s men
Couldn’t put Humpty together again.

It took unconditional love
From a knowing father above
To mend a heart in pieces so broken
With a few, simple, perfect words spoken.